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Divorced seniors seeking sex encounters women loking for sex and it seems that the physical and emotional cheating were going on for 10 months, probably longer on the emotional side. I'm not sure where you're getting the idea that she doesn't deserve forgiveness, that others are advocating that the only option is divorce. I don't feel that way. I also haven't read anyone suggesting that the marriage was perfect before she cheated, that he holds no responsibility (along with her) for the breakdown in communication. Where we seem to disagree is that your responses (whether you intend this or not) seem to place a huge amount of blame on the OP, a huge amount of "she's an innocent victim" on his wife, and do little to address the fact that for whatever reason, she DID cheat. Just like if the OP had slapped her across the face, they would have to address the issue of physical and he would have to help her heal that scar he caused, she is going to HAVE to take steps to heal the scar she caused by her decision to have sex with another. She chose that. She chose to leave her sick husband at home on Thanksgiving saying "There's cold turkey in the fridge" while she went out to the other. She chose to him socially and rub evidence of their affair in his face. She chose to have sex with him time after time. She chose to pour her energy into this other, instead of pouring it into her husband, or her. Come to think of it, where were the while those two were off banging it in the next room? She set up the affair with this irregardless of what it would do to her now that he can't his friend, now that her relationship with his father is in desperate trouble. No, she does not deserve a life sentence, she is not evil and unworthy of forgiveness, but she must address and atone for the damage she chose to do, just as surely as he would have to if he slapped her across the face. They must also address the problems in a relationship as a couple, but you are very naive if you believe this wound ever properly heal if she does nothing to help mend the damage she caused him by having the affair. It is not enough to ignore the affair and focus on the other problems. They are still there, but she has added additional problems through the affair that she must address.
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