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Seeking Double-Jointed Supermodel for Trips to Waffle House, or Monaco I seek the ultimate…a current or former supermodel that happens to live on the Southside of Columbia. She must have a love of Waffle Houses, Avenue des Champs-Élysées, Shakespeares, single ply toilet paper, and penchant for men in chicken masks. Please be double-jointed. I can’t explain here exactly why, but you MUST be double jointed, or a former ballerina. No freaks apply please. Did I mention double-jointed?
I was always told as a kid to ask for what you want, so I try to do that. While the girl above would be fun and interesting, it would be impossible to find her. Where is a woman that really likes single ply toilet paper? Women are the experts and connoisseurs of TP to a level only my former girlfriend reminded me when I bought single ply. My suggestion of folding it in half and using twice as much somehow missed female logic, and the whole lot had to be sacked.
I am somewhere between handsome and neurotic. I know those two aren’t normally either/or options, but it makes sense if you know me. My mind works in odd ways, and I tend to connect things, like not going to funerals because I am not a mourning person.
Regardless of that flaw, I desire someone a little kinky, but I am afraid to write much about that. Kinky is in the eye of the beholder, and it usually gets ready as kinkier than me. So, if you are into the chicken mask, then someone is into full chicken suits, you say, wow, that’s really freaky. One of the Paris expatriates wrote in 1920s, that men who focus all their writing on sex are likely impotent. I just want someone with a healthy appetite, and isn’t afraid to ask what she wants. Is that so wrong?
So, why would you respond to this posting? You have know I am a little educated, or at least saw an interesting program on PBS about Paris and half paid attention to it. I will probably be taller than you unless you were greater than third string on a college basketball team. I have a great job, lots of good quality time off. I dress pretty decently, as long as you like Eddie Bauer, Filson and an occasional Stormy Cromer cap thrown in the mix. Think tweed, wool, leather buttons, and Born on my feet.
I seek a relationship stripped of grandiose pretentions. Simple mornings with coffee and pastries, simple conversation free of adversity, with a lightness about it. We fall into our roles naturally, and life flows simply from there. Your mom and friends will like me, and your dad will love me. I pay my taxes, drive pretty close to the speed limit plus the “non-bustable limit”, and match my garanimal tags.
So, if you happen to be the supermodel with double jointedness, you know how to reach me. Just put some reference to doublejointed in the headlines, and we can take it from there. Pictures are also a nice incentive for me to write you back.
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